beast feaster - an animal eating adventure

well guys and girls, it is completed. done, dusted, eaten. i feel accomplished and saddened that it's over, as well as relief! now all that's left to say is this is not the end. the animal eating adventure shall live on! but more about that later. firstly i would like to give a little run down of the year - the highs, the lows, the animals and the puns.

my top highlights of the year were being mentioned in the guardian food blog, eating animals on bbc3 and the greatest achievement in my life so far - inventing a sandwich (and the sneaky addition to wikipedia). designing the tshirts and that has been fun too, selling them even more fun! which brings me quickly around to the fact that the all new beast feaster threadibles is up and running, and i am in the slow process of adding new designs etc.. you can also buy a scorpion lollipop, crispy worm snacks, chocolate covered insects and crocodile jerky amongst loads more things now, bringing the edibles to the threadibles.

now the bit you've all been waiting for - welcome to the first (and i assume last) annual beast feaster award ceremony! spurred on by the endless questions people have asked me, i have conjured up a definitive list of the best and worst of beast feaster, the tastiest, the weirdest and the smelliest amongst other joys.

the weirdest animal award
the weirdest animal i have eaten this year has to be squirrel. although it is quite available these days and will be more so in the future, it certainly was a weird one - if not being a squirrel itself but the way it unfolding rather oddly upon cooking. damn you cooking twine (incidentally, i know what i want for christmas.)

the ugliest animal award
i can't give it to mussels as they don't even have eyes and deserve pity instead. i pity you, mussels. and worms. so, the ugliest animal? hmm is it unfair to say wild boar? i imagine they have a bit of a stigma since the lion king.. that's just the hand you're dealt i suppose! wild boar wins.

the greatest pun accolade
yes, there are puns in this website somewhere. terrible, terrible puns. unfortunately, these are the butter to my bread, the tea to my mug and the ale to my tankard. they are everywhere! i don't know if i can actually pick the greatest one though. most of them can be found in the incredibly horrendous post about wildebeest, or gnu, and i think this is where you can find the best. which one do you think it is?

the most disturbing texture prize
worms. just look at the pictures. crispy at first was fine but when they took on the soup and became squelchy and gooey it was not the gastronomical delight i had been expecting.

the 'ooh, what a surprise' award
this one is a tie between two sea creatures. as is well documented on beast feaster, i have (or should i say had) an aversion to sea food, i just didn't like it. well that has mostly changed now and am happy to say that the two animals that surprised me the most by being very lovely indeed were octopus and swordfish!

the most expensive meat
coming in at about £20 for 350g of the blighter is the ever expensive, yet equally expensive python. and i had it with mash - sophistication on a plate!

the least expensive meat
disregarding presents (ants, partridge, pheasant) things that were bought for me (pigeon) and avoiding the political minefield that is companies giving me things for free because that never happened (*cough*), the cheapest animal on the list, going by weight ratio here, was rabbit as it worked out at £1.75 for 350g! score.

the sexiest animal eaten
although i must admit i have the hots for a good emu, the sexiest animal to pass by my esophagus this year is turkey. look at that dribbly bit coming off it's nose - hot! and don't get me started on the thighs and breasts. phwoar.

the smelliest animal trophy
without a doubt, the trophy was already engraved at the time because somewhere in my deepest olfactory region i knew that it would be the smelliest animal overall. it even beat pheasant which went a bit funky after hanging. the winner is... horse. of course.

the tastiest animal medal
i think everyone who has been reading this quest from start to finish will know which animal i am going to choose here. the one that heralded a new age of sandwich creation and landed me with my own sandwich invention. yes, the tastiest animal of the 52 was completely and unequivocally zebra.

and so that rounds up the year (and a bit, i admit this last post has got together slowly!) keep your eyes fixed however for my next project, details announced soon *excitement*, and also the continuation of beast feaster (also details coming soon).. if you have any more awards that you think i should give out or anything like that, leave a comment!

oh, and the greatest pun has to be "top gnu" hahaha. seriously.