a tale of two jerkies: emu and cuttlefish

my good friend steve bought me a jerky based gift the other day, consisting of two rather strange and dried animals. the first was an actual jerky, emu, which i was pleased to read as being:

"derived from animals that received post-mortem inspection and were found sound and healthy in every way."

very reassuring. the packaging also claims the emu is fair dinkum good for me. good. whatever that means. the second gift was cuttlefish jerky. or rather, taotong roller seasoned jerky. i couldn't really give you any more information as the packaging is entirely in thai., though the packaging is adorned with wonderful illustrations of what i can only assume is a miscreant glove donning a peaked chefs hat and sunglasses. i have taken a picture as evidence.
upon opening the emu jerky i was hit in the nasal region with that smell you get when you walk into a pet shop, the doors opening and a thousand animal and feed smells escaping like that bit in indiana jones when they open the ark of the covenant and all those ghost dudes fly out and go crazy. yeah, like that but with smells. not overly unpleasant, unlike the smells you get the deeper you go into the pet shop where they've stacked all those fish tanks, and quite fruity. i reached inside and pulled out what can only be described as strips of bendy bark.

these bad boys look like any old jerky, though darker than i have seen before. i grab one and start to chew, releasing a cacophony of weird subtleties that i didn't really expect. quite fruity and yet, a dark disturbing flavour was underlying, just like i imagine the ark of the covenant would have tasted if it too were made into jerky. but it was definitely all good, as i am still chewing on what little remains of the jerky as i type this! just odd, tasty and odd.

next up was this interesting, animated looking cuttlefish stuff. the packaging drew me in closer and i ripped open the packet. what hit me next was a full-blown nostril offense, just like the smells you get the deeper you go into the pet shop where they've stacked all those fish tanks, all with the underlying joyous aromas of sawdust à la hamster piss. removing the trayed contents, i was confronted with what appeared to be fossilised fern leaves.

as i ripped off the top piece of the rolled cuttlefish i could only hazard a guess at the taste i was about to experience. what did it mean by seasoned? as i prepared my mouth for a salty invasion i realised i was about to find out what pet shop tasted like. the cuttlefish, at first, did taste like how a pet shop smells, but in a gentle way. in fact, i would go as far as saying not too bad at all. it wasn't salty in any way and was bearable if not enjoyable. then the seasoning kicked in - quite spicy, tongue burning a little but in a good way, and a kick to be savoured. i wouldn't devour the whole lot in one go however, but i do find myself reaching for it now, as with the emu. yum yum.